there's a little shop in the middle of my way down to university. in the morning, they burn incense (or maybe the people who live above it do). i've noticed that before. i have a good sense of smell. but silence somehow brings out the senses; you see deeper, you smell deeper, you listen and not only hear. i still don't know about touch.
and you feel deeper.
outside of messy matters, i'm on a buzz from feeling good. but when something hurts, it hurts deeply. there's nothing to numb the pain. and there's no outlet but tears.
it happened yesterday. i felt lonely. for the first time i recognized such a feeling. i can't put music to distract myself. i can't talk to someone to make it better. i just let it crash into me.
more people are finding out about my vow. reactions range from sheer incredulity to anger to admiration to love declarations. none of them bother or please me.
is there salt in the salad? is she coming? i discover so many of my questions to be dispensable. that if you shut up, taste for yourself, wait a bit to see, your questions will be answered. it's a bit hard to do that on a lunch scale, harder on a gathering scale. the hardest would be on a life scale. will he come into my life? am i gonna have that volcano i keep wishing for?
keep silent, taste for yourself and wait a bit to see. your questions have to be answered.
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