"in the silence between your heartbeat bides a summon.
do you hear it?
name it if you must, or leave it forever nameless,
but why pretend it is not there?
leave that which is not, but appears to be.
seek that which is, but is not apparent."
-rumi
today, on my sixteenth day, i started to understand the purpose behind my vow. and still…
there is an unparalleled sacredness in stillness. the will to become silent eats at your ego, the part of your selfhood that you communicate to the outside tangible world, your shell. but like all matter, it recreates it in a different form: a presence within. by willing your erasure, you accept to embrace the world.
have you ever thought about the posture of open arms? the exposed torso, lifted hands, no limb is protected by another. a state of simultaneous vulnerability and embrace.
the past days have been brutally painful. the harsher the pain, the deeper the cut. and the deeper the cut, the louder the wail. the more desperately i beg for deliverance.
hafiz says:
"don't surrender your loneliness so quickly. let it cut more deeply. let it ferment and season you as few human or even divine ingredients can. something missing in my heart tonight has made my eyes so soft, my voice so tender, my need of the Divine absolutely clear."
absolutely clear.
